Sunday, 7 June 2015

broken bones

I'm typing this with one hand because the other one is in an ultrasound machine ( don't worry, my forearm isn't pregnant) which is supposed to make my bones heal more quickly. A week ago, I was finishing up a decent block of training , riding down a hill and eating a cookie. Apparently I share some qualities with Gerald Ford because I managed to wipe myself out and break the radial head of my elbow (third time I've done that) . I managed to laugh at myself, ride back to a convenient place to meet a friend, drop the cookie and smash my helmet.

I took a trip to urgent care, told the doctor I had a radial head fracture, he told me that he would be the judge of what was wrong with me. Then he looked at my X ray and informed me i had a radial head fracture. He put me in a plaster cast. I took a dremel to that pretty quickly, but not before getting in a few quality signatures.

Since then I have ridden a super secret new bike (don't tell the doctor I did that) , visited Trek HQ in Wisconsin (look out for an article in RIDE) and attempted to start running whilst I heal. Wisconsin was great, I rode on fantastic roads, met great people and ate some great food. I consider it a measure of how good my new friends are when I can rely on them to dress/ undress me within a week of meeting them. In general, anyone prepared to listen to me swearing about every bump we ride over and still drink beer with me afterwards passes the friend test.

I was thinking about all the times I have broken myself today whilst I was making inglorious progress through Balboa park and thought it might be fun to make a list. In all honesty I don't really mind the pain that occurs when I break bones, it has never really felt that terrible. But it does make me sad when I have to curtail my adventures to spend time in plaster.

in no particular order, here are some highlights

broken wrist , twice. Falling out of a tree and riding a borrowed mountain bike at the Sea Otter classic , apparently real 'mericans run their brakes the other way around

broken pelvis, i think we all remember that one

compound fracture of my spine (thanks to the lady who drove into me and drove off)
the first bracelet was when I was only speaking nonsense in French and nobody knew my name!
Broken ribs -  have a video of that one

Broken nose - the same way every young adult male gets a broken nose, someone punched me in the face

broken metatarsal in my hand - i punched him in the head

herniated discs - godawful bike fit , rowing

clavicle - Old pubelo Grand Prix

Scapula - road biking on a mountain bike

you get the picture, anyway each bump and break and crack comes with a great story attached. I wouldn't trade any of them for a safe life wrapped in cotton wool in a cubicle. Thanks to the guys at cycle fit, I keep getting back on my bike somehow and finding ways to go fast enough to hurt myself again, but I wouldn't want it any other way.